Earlier in my career, I thought good work would speak for itself.
I kept my head down, executed well, and waited to be noticed.
I wasn’t the person constantly chatting with my boss, broadcasting every win, or volunteering for visibility. That felt forced to me, like “kissing up.” I wasn’t going to do that.
But then I watched those colleagues get new opportunities, while I went unnoticed.
I felt really frustrated and I wasn’t sure what to do. Then I got advice from a very wise person that I know, and it stayed with me ever since:
“Ask your manager for feedback.”
So, in my performance review, I told my manager and their manager:
“I’d really like to be promoted to the next level. Do you have feedback on what I should do to get there?”
What I heard surprised me:
“We didn’t know you wanted a promotion. You keep your head down, so we assumed you were happy where you are.”
That stung.
Didn’t everyone want to move up? Apparently, unless you say it, people may not know.
Then came the second part:
“You do the work, but we don’t always know what you’re working on. It would help if you shared more of your successes, like when a customer is happy with the service.”
At first, I was frustrated. Shouldn’t they already know what I’m working on?
I asked if sharing my success would come across as annoying. Their response completely shifted how I thought about managing up at work. (click here for my related article: Why I Stopped “Managing Up” and Started “Communicating Up” )
Ugh this felt really “kiss-uppy,” but I decided to listen and try it anyway.
The next time a customer emailed me something positive, I forwarded it to my managers with a simple note: “FYI…feedback from a customer today.”
I wasn’t bragging. I communicated facts.
I did that a few times. And suddenly, new opportunities opened up, including a promotion.
Feedback annoying and hurt the ego? Yes.
Did I learn valuable lessons about career progression in a company? Absolutely.
What I Learned
- Share your goals with your manager, and ask for feedback. Your manager may not know your goals, and you don’t know what’s holding you back, until you ask.
- Feedback gives you understanding. Even if it stings, or you don’t agree with it, it points to specific actions you can take.
- Without feedback, frustration grows. With feedback, you can move forward.
- You are in control when you ask for feedback. This doesn’t mean managers shouldn’t notice. But in reality, they’re busy. You give yourself more control when you ask and share directly.
Feedback may be uncomfortable, but asking for it is one of the most important skills for career growth.
For me, it’s been the thread through every stage of my career. Each time I asked, I learned something that helped me grow, and take the next step.
When you ask for feedback, you don’t have to sit back and wait on your manager. Instead you own your career.
✦ If you’re trying to move ahead at work but struggling to advocate for yourself or make your contributions visible, learn more about my coaching for professionals.